~~ Howdy!!! ~~
~~ I gots to thinkin bout all them hi class city folk with them there indoor plumbin having wine tastin parties (with real fancy Eye-talian kind of wine that cums in a box) which I never gets an invite too anyway I might add.
...And it hits me. Why donts I haves me a tastin fo all me frends out in duh countrie near the barn me mammy raised me in. ~~
What will be therr:
Vittles:
Weel be fixin a whole mess of vittles for yer enjoyment. Any roadkill from the front bumper of your Chevy pickup is appreciated (from your grill to ours). Any live critters and/or kinfolk are welcome in case we runs out of food.
Hooch:
We be sippin 5 varieteys of Boones (only the best screw cap wine for my guests). If ya dont drink wine, we gots cans of PBR, Jack (Ol No. 7), Trailer Park Punch, and my grandpappy's world famous corn squeezins for your enjoyment.
Entertainment:
Cuzin Jim will be playin his Hank Williams 45's.
Dress Code:
This is your chance to dress down (No shirts, No shoes...No problem!). Bring your best bib overalls, Lynrd Skynrd concert tees, "Daisy Dukes", or be like Cuzin Jim and just wear a Confederate flag like a diaper.
Bathing:
Strictly Optional. As is deodorant and mouthwash.
Inbreeding:
Strongly encouraged. This is a family event after all.
Special Contests/Events:
o Horshoe Pitchin
o Fishin by Opie's Duck Pond
o Hog callin contest (Soo-ey!)
o Cherry spittin contest
o ...and Possibly a Miss White Trash Pageant ("Daddy says I'm the best kisser in the county!")
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